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Transformers
Transformers is the first movie in what I can only hope becomes a successful movie franchise. Getting Michael Bay to direct can only be described as a stroke of genius. He does seem to have a real talent for special effects. Particularly the kind required to bring the Transformers to life.
Transformers has a number of great little vignettes, ranging from the use of the “Kill Bill” theme music when Bumblebee becomes the kickass Black and Yellow Camaro to what is probably the cutest moment in a dodgy movie, the little kid carrying the pink pony asking the giant robot if he’s the tooth fairy. But none of these are the reason for watching Transformers. There are, in fact, 11 reasons for watching; Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ratchet, Ironhide, Jazz, Megatron, Starscream, Barricade, Devastator, Bonecrusher and Blackout.
To be honest, no-one watching the Transformers actually cares about the acting, which is a pity, as Shia Leboeuf pretty much manages to capture the way I would feel if I found out my car was a giant alien robot. The plot is probably more involved than is required, in that there is one. Like the acting, this was not required. What was required was giant robots beating the crap out of other giant robots, and the film delivers this in spades.
Dodginess
While I don’t necessarily think that giant robots are dodgy, I do kind of have to acknowledge that I would be in the minority here. So, I’ll compromise, they’re dodgy but in an oh so cool way. Transformers gets a five on the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man scale. In a movie about giant robots that can transform into pretty much anything, you would expect that the dodgiest moment would involve one of them. There’s a giant scorpion robot, a number of fight scenes between the Autobots and the Decepticons and even a top secret government organisation (yes, another one) called Sector 7, complete with Superman logo ripoff shirts, any one of which could compete for the title of dodgiest moment. However, the winning scene contains none of those. It contains an Australian, female signal analyst who tries to bring some hardcore science to a film about giant robots (not a good idea). Yes, mentioning Fourier Transforms and Quantam Mechanics definitely qualifies you for the dodgiest moment award.
Rewatchability Rating
Every time I look at the case in my DVD collection there’s a part of me that starts jumping up and down going “watch it again, you know you want to see the giant robots.” And it’s not a small part of me. This one gets 5 on the rewatchability index.
Most Memorable Quote
There’s a great scene just after Sam has bought Bumblebee when he rips the jocks off as follows “It’s about the link between brain damage and football. It’s a good book, your friends will love it. It’s got mazes in it, little colouring sections, popup pictures, it’s a lot of fun.”. But that’s a little long to be memorable, amusing as it is. No, in the same way that the dodgiest moment is a spoken phrase, the most memorable quote isn’t really a quote. Instead it is a motto written on . Where police cars have to Protect and Serve, has “To Punish and Enslave”, definitely the Decepticon motto.
Final Thoughts
This movie was everything the little kid inside me wanted. From the beginning of the movie until the final credits, all I could think was “Oh my God. This is sooooooo cool”. But don’t take my word for it, check it out yourself.